How to Miss a Flight in Madrid! (published Dec07)

After the last debacle in which you nearly missed your flight to Madrid, one would have thought that you had definitely learnt your lesson, but on the evidence of the following, there’s certainly no stopping you....

Air France Flight 4190 from Barajas Madrid to London City – ETD 7.05pm

4.00pm – After having a typical Spanish lunch of tapas with colleagues, they advise you to leave for the airport by 4.30pm. Though it only takes 30 minutes on the metro to get there, it’s a Friday so you can’t take any chances. They remind you to go to terminal 4 for flights back to London.
4.05pm – There’s no way you’re visiting Madrid without popping into Zara. The £ sign on each price tag is simply replaced by a € sign, so we understand your excitement.
4.10pm – You’ve told yourself you only need 10 minutes to do your thing. You know which coat you’re after and a friend has asked you to get something similar for her.
4.16pm – You’ve found your coat but not in the right size, so you decide to pick out another one. After all, you can’t go back to London empty-handed.
4.30pm – Decisions, decisions. You’ve picked out three other coats you like but you don’t know which one to choose. You’re thinking about closing your eyes, pulling out the credit card and buying all three.
4.35pm – Meanwhile, you realise you haven’t picked out your friend’s coat. You rush to the women’s section to find something suitable.
4.45pm – You find a couple but there’s always something wrong. If it’s not the right size that’s missing, it’s a button that’s loose and you refuse to pay for damaged goods without getting a discount. Not that you have the time to get out the phrase book and start haggling in Spanish!
4.55pm – By this time, you’re frantically combing the store with the help of at least three attendants, bent on making sure your trip to Zara hasn’t been wasted.
5.05pm – You’re at the till now with seven jackets in tow. With the clock ticking, you remind yourself that unplanned purchases cost more than they are worth. You stick to your guns and pay for the two items you came for.
5.12pm – You’re running to the metro station to catch the train to the airport.
5.16pm – This has to be the number one thing NOT to do when you’re trying to catch a plane abroad – stop to ask a cab driver whose taxi you’re about to jump into whether it’s quicker to get to the airport by road or by metro.
5.20pm – Despite your driver’s assurances that there won’t be traffic, you quickly realise that you may have made the wrong choice jumping into his cab in rush hour!
5.45pm – Luckily for you, the congestion clears up once you’ve left the city centre and you’re glad to find that his promises of getting to the airport in 20 minutes weren’t totally empty! You head straight to terminal 4 to check in.
5.50pm – You can’t find your flight anywhere on the screens and your heart starts pounding when you realise that it may have been at 17:10 hours and not 7.10pm as you had thought!
5.51pm – You tell yourself to remain calm as a more likely explanation is that you’re in the wrong terminal. You confirm at the nearest information point that you need to be in terminal 2! Why you didn’t check this yourself online is beyond me!
5.55pm – You’re boarding the shuttle bus to terminal 2 ten minutes away. Incidentally, you had driven past it on the way to terminal 4.
6.05pm – You eventually find the Air France check-in and join the long queue. With an hour left till your flight, you’re cutting it really fine!
6.20pm – The unthinkable happens. You get to the front of the queue and you’re told that your flight has been cancelled! How on earth will you be back in London for the whole weekend – you have plans! You’re asked to join yet another queue to consider your options...
6.35pm – After patiently waiting, it’s finally your turn and you’re put on an Iberia flight to Heathrow, instead of your original destination, London City. At least you’ll be back in London tonight.
And guess what terminal your new flight leaves from? Yep, that’s right – terminal 4! And so the race against missing your flight begins once again...

Iberia Flight 1871 from Barajas Madrid to London Heathrow – ETD 7.55pm

6.50pm – You’ve taken the shuttle bus once again to get back to terminal 4 and you head straight to the Iberia check-in.
6.55pm – You get to the front of the queue and after handing your passport and new ticket to the attendant, he inputs your details into his system and seems to indicate that there is a problem.
6.56pm – You nod your ahead as if you understand his explanation in Spanish as he walks away with your passport. But you really have no idea what he just said to you.
6.57pm – As he walks away with your passport in hand, he takes a couple of glances back towards you and then as he turns a corner he makes a run for it!
6.58pm – You chuckle as you snap out of your minute-long daydream . That wouldn’t be funny at all.
7.10pm – After nearly 15 minutes, you’re really beginning to get anxious about your passport. You’re about to shout over to one of his colleagues when he finally reappears.
7.11pm – He explains that your e-ticket wasn’t transferred properly by Air France. When you wave your paper ticket at him again, he takes it and disappears again with your passport.
7.15pm – This time, as he returns he gives you a thumbs up, which you’re sure must be a positive signal even in Spanish!
7.16pm – He gives you your boarding pass and as you walk off, he shrugs his shoulders apologetic and appears to say something to the effect of “Well, blame it on the French!”
7.25pm – You’ve safely navigated customs and with half an hour to go you’ve got ample time to spare – or so you think.
7.26pm – As you enter the departure lounge, the first store you see as you look to your left is Zara! It must be fate. Now you can get the coat that you initially wanted.
7.35pm – You’ve found some new styles that you hadn’t seen before and your indecision sets in again as you’re unsure which ones to settle for.
7.40pm – You’re still trying to make up your mind when you realise that with 15 minutes to take off, you still haven’t checked which is your departure gate, or indeed how far away you are from it!
7.41pm – You hear a voice telling you “It’s a trap, leave now, don’t look back!” You realise that you’re not going to make any exchanges and you’re still going to miss your flight.
7.42pm – You drop everything you’re holding and you are hurriedly fleeing the scene as images of Lot’s wife flash through your mind!
7.45pm – You check the big screen and now you’re making a run for it to get to your gate 10 minutes away, unsure of whether it’s even closed already.
7.55pm – You arrive at the gate, certain that you’ll have to beg to be let unto the plane. Luckily for you, boarding hasn’t started and everyone’s still waiting at the gate.
8.20pm – You should be relieved that you’ve made it but instead you’re annoyed because you could have done all the shopping you wanted without hurrying yourself!
As you board the plane which is now nearly an hour late, you’re ushered to your seat in business class – thanks to the gaff you were upgraded. As you enjoy the first class treatment on the flight back home you think that you could get used to this. Just make sure you don’t get too used to nearly missing your flight!